Falling Down: Avoiding the Pitfalls of Implementation

In working with clients I get to see their biggest successes and most difficult challenges of their relationship with money.

The big successes in the coaching process with most of my clients, especially the entrepreneurs? Vision. They know what they want. That's a big part of why they went into business for themselves: they can see the possibilities. And once they identify those possibilities, they start to see them in their lives. That's exciting!

The hardest thing? Implementation. The every day follow up on that big dream.  And that shows up in coaching. Some clients get to the goal setting stage and then say to me, "Wow, thanks for the help, I'll take it from here." And they take a break, give up, go out on their own and try to do it all alone.

The vast majority of the time, when I check back in with them in a month or two or six they are in the same place that they were in before they took a break or before they came to coaching at all. I hear frustration and overwhelm, blame and sometimes anger.

And the truth is, it is the every day, day-to-day, get up and go to work that's the hard part. The following up on that vision, keeping it in your sights and staying focusing on what you really want is taxing and time consuming. It's not all roses.  

So what to do?

The first thing to do is notice what's going on.  If we don't acknowledge that there's an issue or a block, it's nearly impossible to change it.  So notice, right now - are you having a difficult time getting what you really want? 

Then as yourself: Are you ready to commit or re-commit to that vision?

If you are, look for support. Coaching helps (that's why I do what I do - it's what I think is needed). Groups like masterminding groups or issue-specific peer groups or group coaching help. Having a money buddy to check in with consistently helps. The basic idea here is to get support to help you be accountable to your vision.

Here are some things you can do with that vision that will help keep you on track that you can do on you own:

* Frame your vision positively.

* Make sure to include not just your vision, but what you're willing to do to get it.

* Make sure that what you're going to do to get it is something that you'll enjoy and is related to your purpose.

* Write it down and post it in a place you'll see it.

* Read you vision to your self twice at day - once in the morning and once in the evening.

* Imagine yourself in your vision, getting what you want and doing what you say you're going to do for five minutes every day.

As always, if you try something I've written about or have an additional idea, please post a comment or email me and let me know!

Crisis: Danger or Opportunity?

About Black Monday in 1987...
"I was reminded of the written Chinese character that, depending on the context, defines 'crisis' as 'danger' or 'opportunity.' We realized that, although the stock market would do what it would do, when we let go of the conversation of fear and anxiety, and created a different conversation focused on the bounty of our lives - then out fear subsided. When we approached the circumstances without the noise of fear and high anxiety, the 'crisis' lost its drip on us; the experience of 'danger' did, indeed, transform into opportunity." - Lynne Twist, The Soul of Money

I've been thinking about what to write to support people in dealing with what's being touted as a huge economic crisis. I have a deep need both to contribute positively to the lives of people - both in my practice and community - as well as a desire to change the framing of the conversation.

In re-reading "The Soul of Money" by Lynne Twist, I realized that I have the perfect opportunity right here in this critical moment. The banking system has manufactured a crisis. It is effecting people and it is frustrating and scary and sometimes totally overwhelming. There is danger here. Acknowledging that is crucial to being able to do something else.

And what a blessing. I see two big opportunities here:the first is to count our own, non-material assets and blessings and the second is to get to look at the banking and credit systems cracked open. There's more information available right now about banks and credit than there's ever been. The opportunity to really review what the banking system does and how it functions is a gift. We rarely even consider who we bank with unless something is going on - substantial fees or opening an account or applying for a mortgage. Most people seem to stay with their bank for a long time, sometimes lifetime relationships. So getting a a real chance to see how they work and what decisions they make and how those effect us gives us insight into our own choices.

And there's a real opportunity to take a step back and look at who we, as human beings are. Who do you love? What do you teach? How are you enough just as you are? Who loves you? Who's lives do you touch every day? And most importantly for me, how do we come together in times of crisis to turn that danger into opportunity?

One of the things that I love about my work is that I get an opportunity to reach deeply into people's lives and really help them explore something that they often haven't talked openly about with anyone else - money. I am really blessed with clients and friends who have a deep willingness to look at the choices they make and then do what they really want to do in their lives. Getting to watch that process and be included in that is an amazing gift. I'm very grateful to have this work in my life.

I do have 3 spaces in my practice right now. If you know someone that you'd like me to work with or who might be open to this level of support - in business or personally - please let me know.



P.S. I am aware that the "crisis=danger + opportunity" is sometimes framed as a myth. That idea is based on the character ji being translated as "incipient moment" or "crucial point." I think that opportunity comes at a crucial moment and the interpretation of opportunity as solely positive and without any hint that there might be danger does not reflect the connotations of current usage. Plus, dude, I'm quoting someone who has a good idea, it's all about interpretation.

Got money issues?

Lots of people have "issues" with money.

I was just reading Salon.com and came across this.

Since the internet changes things so often, I'll give you a brief synopsis: everyone needs to learn about money, even writers.

The author, Cary Tennis, answers a letter where a woman talks about caring for her partner, but because of his ideas about and patterns with money, she does not think the relationship has a future. They otherwise seem to have a great connection, but money is the pits.

Money is not something we talk about or get taught about - not by parents, teachers, in school or even college. Although we often pick up our parents attitudes and ideals, we don't always pick up their skills - if they had money skills at all.

This is no longer a world of pensions and jobs with lots of retirement planning and ease of buying single family homes (or even in sustaining two-parent families over time). The national economy is crashing and the global economy is in constant flux. It's up to us to create the future that we want.

In the case of this article, not understanding and talking about money has lead this couple to have a potentially serious issue. What to do?

Tennis suggested just what I was thinking - talk to someone and get some support. Talking about money can be inititally painful, but it often leads to openness and connection - enhancing relationships rather than detracting from them.

If you want to create clarity about your relationship with money, set aside some time to talk through your money stories. Talk about what your parents did with money and what that meant for you, how it felt and what the repercussions have been. Talk about what your parents spent money on and how you spend money and what you want your experience of money to be.

And listen. Listen to youself and your emotions as you talk and listen to your partner, friends and loved ones when they talk about money. Open the conversation and see where it takes you! And you want support around that let me know!